“It’s Just Business” - Is Just B.S.
You’ve heard the phrase before, usually after someone gets screwed over in a deal, a friend is fired, or a partner is sued: “It’s just business.” It’s also the go-to excuse for reality TV contestants who lie, cheat, and backstab their way to the top, telling the camera in their solo interview, “It’s just the game.” The problem? It’s all bulls&*t.
After years of doing deals and building relationships, I’ve learned one truth: business isn’t just business, it’s personal. Not in the petty, grudge-holding way, but in the sense that how you treat people matters. People want to do business with those they respect, like and trust.
Relationships Are the Foundation
Businesses aren’t just spreadsheets or transactions, they’re people. A company is nothing more than a group of individuals working toward a shared goal. Deals are just people coming together to make things happen. But here’s the thing: if you’ve got a Baby Ruth in the punchbowl, everyone’s walking away. Talented a$$holes only last so long, no matter where they go.
Now, you might argue, “Look at the billionaires out there, so many are self-absorbed jerks.” Fair, but for every Musk or Jobs, there are thousands of bitter souls who didn’t have the brilliance, vision, or sheer willpower to plow ahead regardless of the body count. So unless you’re ready to fully commit, Patrick Bateman-style, to being a cutthroat, visionary psychopath (and good luck with that), you’re better off learning how to work with people, inside and outside the office.
Related Note: I’ve always loved this story from Jack Bogle, who could have been a billionaire but chose not to be: At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut tells his friend, author Joseph Heller, that their host—a hedge fund manager—had made more money in a single day than Heller earned from his wildly successful novel “Catch-22” over its entire history. Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have… enough.”
Your Actions Are All You Really Own
Deals can fall through, businesses can fail, and promotions can be missed, but the one thing no one can ever take from you is your character. How you do the small things is how you do everything. If you’re willing to step on someone to get ahead, how can anyone ever trust you in any situation? This applies to deals, marriages, friendships—integrity is non-negotiable. Some people try to separate business and personal, but I have to look at both. If someone cheats on their spouse, I can’t do business with them, if someone is running a ponzi scheme, I can’t be friends with them. Money will come and go, power will ebb and flow, but how you carry yourself can have staying power.
Expectations and Communication Matter
Being a good person doesn’t mean you can’t also be good at business and making deals, but it does mean being clear about your expectations and following through. Every relationship, whether personal or professional, requires honesty and accountability. If everyone understands the context and nature of the relationship, we’re all responsible for holding up our end of the bargain. If someone doesn’t? There should be consequences, not sour grapes.
“It’s Just Business” Is a Cop-Out
The phrase is often a way to dodge accountability. It’s an excuse to justify selfish behavior, the truth is: good business doesn’t require bad behavior. Approach business with integrity, clarity, and respect for relationships, and you’ll not only succeed—you’ll build something worth being proud of.
A Salute to the Good Ones
At this stage in my career, I’ve earned something I didn’t even know I wanted: the ability to do business with people I respect and like. I’ve been lucky to work with mostly great people, a few talented a$$holes, and only a couple of truly deplorable ones. This article is a salute to the great ones—not an indictment of the others, I don’t think they could help themselves.
If you value character and integrity in the people you work with, please like and share this article. Who knows? Maybe we’ll end up doing a deal together.